


The Plan

by ginnypotter242



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Community: HPFT, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-07-13 01:58:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7133930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ginnypotter242/pseuds/ginnypotter242
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Al really doesn't want to be in Slytherin. He's paranoid about it- so of course it's fun to tease him about it. What if the teasing went a step further? I'm James Potter. And I have a plan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Plan

The train ride to Hogwarts was a lot more fun this year. I sat with my friends, not my family. Poor Al…he had to sit with Rose and Roxie and probably Victoire. Fred of course, sat with me. He’s the cool one in my family. Other than me of course. We sat with Tyler Payne and Kyle Host, our best friends, and fellow Gryffindors. The whole train ride we discussed what pranks we would pull this year- and we came up with some pretty good ones, if I do say so myself! We got to Hogwarts quickly, and we got to ride in the carriages this year! Who-hoo! Which also meant that we got into the Great Hall faster. We had all sat down, impatient for the Sorting to be over with when Headmistress McGonagall came up to us.

“Potter, come up to my office. I have matters I need to discuss with you.” she said, and swept out of the Great Hall. I groaned, not wanting to be late for the feast.

“Are you in trouble already?” Kyle asked, grinning at me. I shrugged, not bothering to worry. The school year hadn’t officially started yet, I couldn’t get in trouble…could I? I made my way slowly to McGonagall’s office. She was waiting for me, thankfully since she didn’t give me the password.

“Nice of you to show up James.” she said sternly, looking at me over her glasses. I grinned sheepishly, offering a meaningless apology. “Puddlemere United,” she said, which was apparently the password. I wrinkled my nose, Puddlemere was one of my least favorite teams. I entered the office- which had become very familiar over the past year, and took a seat at the chair.

“So, why am I here exactly Minnie?” I asked. I heard my dad mention that name before. She looked at me exasperated. “Professor McGonagall-” she started.

“Actually, I’m James. You’re Professor McGonagall.” I grinned. She just looked more exasperated as one of the teachers- I don’t know who it was exactly, came into her office.

“Stay here. I will be back in a moment, after clearing up some things. Don’t touch anything.” she said, following the teacher out. I relaxed, and looked around the room. In the corner, I noticed the Sorting Hat. Weird, I thought it would have already been taken downstairs for the Sorting. I walked over and picked it up, setting it on my head.

“Hey there, Hatty,” I said. Hatty opened it’s mouth-or brim- and gave an exasperated tone.

“My name is not Hatty, Potter.” it grumbled in my ear.

“But it’s such a fun name! Who wants to be called the Sorting Hat all the time?” I complained. If the hat had eyes, they would be rolling right now. Suddenly, I got an idea. A wonderful idea, an amazingly wonderful, awesome idea. I yelped and jumped up.

“Hatty! Guess what? My brother- Albus- is a first year this year. He’ll be Sorted soon. He really, really wants to be in Gryffindor like Mum and Dad were-” I began.

“I cannot put someone in a house they do not truly belong to,” Hatty said.

“I’m not asking you to! Let me finish!” I whined. The hat was silent. “Okay, so Al wants to be in Gryffindor. But even more so, he doesn’t want to be in Slytherin. He’s been freaking out for months because he’s worried about it. So, here’s my plan. Be prepared- it’s awesome! Hold on to your hats ladies and- oh. Never mind! Anyway, what if you pretended to put him in Slytherin? You could announce Slytherin when he puts on the hat- well, when he puts on you, but when the next kid goes up, explain you were kidding and he really belongs in Gryffindor!” I grinned, jumping up and down, pleased with my idea. “What do you think Hatty?”

“I think you need to stop calling me Hatty. Also, I cannot do that. It goes against my morals.” Hatty replied. I stared.

“Morals? Hatty, you’re a hat.”

“Even so, Mr. Potter, I’m unable to do this request. It is not allowed.” Hatty said, with an air of finality. But James Potter was not one to give up. I thought for a while, staring at the Sorting Hat.

“Hatty, when were you last washed?” I asked, staring at the filthy dark stains and dirt caked into the hat.

“I’ve never been washed! I’m the Sorting Hat, I have not been washed since Godric Gryffindor himself pulled me off his head.” Hatty told me. It’s tone was indignant, but it seemed upset at the question.

“I’ll wash you!” the words spilled from my lips. “I’ll wash you, if you do the prank. You’ll be all shiny and new!” I exclaimed. The hat was silent.

“You would do that for me?” it finally asked.

“Of course! As long as you do the prank!” I grinned like a maniac. It was silent.

“Alright, I’ll do it.” it said finally. I jumped up, shrieking in happiness (in a totally manly way!).

“Yes! Great! I’ll get you washed as soon as I get back up here. So, probably tomorrow.” I grinned. I heard footsteps coming upstairs. I pulled the Hat off my head and placed it back where it had been. Then I raced back to my chair, landing in it just as the door opened. Neville- sorry, Professor Longbottom- walked in and cast me a strange glance. Probably because I was on the floor. Since I had fallen off the chair. And onto the floor. He walked over and picked up the Sorting Hat.

“James, Professor McGonagall would like you to come down to the feast now. She’ll talk to you tomorrow instead.” he said, pausing at the door.

“Okay!” I jumped up, and passed him out the door. “Oh, and Mum sends her love.”

~~~~

“Alderson, Kenneth,”

“Hufflepuff!

“Barnes, Felix,”

“Ravenclaw!”

I sighed as the Sorting was going on. I really just wanted Al to get sorted- I wanted to see the look on his face.

“Jordan, Mellissa,”

“Gryffindor!”

“Nott, Kelly!”

“Slytherin!”

Finally, we got to the P’s.

“Paylor, John,”

“Ravenclaw!”

“Penn, David,”

“Slytherin!”

“Potter, Albus,”

Finally! The hat stayed on his head for a few minutes, and I could tell by the way Al was gripping the stool that he was nervous. For a moment, I considered that this might not be such a great idea. I could get into big trouble if Mum found out. I felt slightly bad for Al too. But I got over it quickly. He might be upset at first, but once he got into Gryffindor it would all be fine. A few minutes passed, and everybody started to get fidgety. I was annoyed. Just place him in Slytherin already!

“Slytherin!” the hat called. Al didn’t move. From here, I could see his shoulders slump. Whispers spread across the Great Hall like wildfire.

“A Potter?”

“Slytherin?”

“Harry Potter…son?”

Al walked slowly to the Slytherin table who had slowly began clapping. He sat down to Scorpius Malfoy- of all people, and laid his head in his hands. The whispers began to die out when Professor Longbottom cleared his throat a few times.

“Puckett, Sheryl,” he called, a the girl walked up. I watched as the Hat was placed on her head, waiting for it to call out that Al really belonged in Gryffindor. But it didn’t.

“Ravenclaw!” the voice registered in my mind, and I started to freak out. The hat was surely just playing his part well. Perhaps he was waiting a few more kids, or even until the end of the Sorting to announce the prank. Yes, that had to be it.

“Weasley, Rose,” was called, and I looked up to see my cousin’s Sorting.

“Gryffindor!” the Hat called, and I could see the huge relief on her face. She glanced at the Slytherin table as she made her way over, obviously at Albus.

“Zimcosky, Ariel,” was called. A girl with long red hair walked up, and was promptly placed in Gryffindor. I waited for the hat to speak up. But it didn’t. I watched Neville carry it out of the hall in disbelief. I only dimly registered McGonagall standing up and saying something, and then food appearing. This wasn’t right! Al was supposed to be in Gryffindor! It was just a joke, Al couldn’t really belong in Slytherin, could he? I looked over at the Slytherin table, and saw Albus, though still looking upset, talking to Malfoy and a girl next to him. I groaned and lay my head down on the table.

“C’mon mate, Albus will be fine. I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding, we’ll talk to ’ol McGonagall tomorrow and get him here where he belongs,” Fred said, shoving some food at me. I looked up, sensing the logic of these words.

“You’re right. He’ll be fine for one night.” I said. And hopefully I can talk with the hat tomorrow too about what happened. Why didn’t he speak up? I pushed it out of my head, and focused in on the food.

~~

“So, Professor, obviously Albus belongs in Gryffindor. Every Weasley-Potter has, with the exception of Molly, but she doesn’t count. Besides, she’s just in Ravenclaw, which is so much closer to Gryffindor than Slytherin is.” Fred made his case to McGonagall the next morning. I had a hard time sleeping last night, I was worrying about whether Al was okay and wondering what had happened.

“I see Mr. Weasley. Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do. The Sorting Hat’s decision is final.” McGonagall said.

“But it wasn’t supposed to be! It was supposed to be a joke, the hat was supposed to change it’s mind!” I blurted out without thinking. She stared at me. So did Fred.

“What do you mean Mr. Potter?” McGonagall asked sharply, her nostrils flaring.

“I-I…I was pulling a prank on Al! The hat was going to pretend to place him in Slytherin, but then it would admit it was a joke! He was supposed to be put in Gryffindor!” I exclaimed, deciding just to be honest. Her eyes narrowed and her nostrils flared even more.

“Mr. Weasley, could you please go find your cousin and bring him here? I’m sure he would like to hear about what his brother did. Bring Albus!” she said, as Fred left the room. Good thing too, he probably would have brought every cousin at Hogwarts. “Mr. Potter, do you realize how- how despicable this is? Tricking a hat to place someone in a house they didn’t belong to? If Albus had belonged in Gryffindor, the hat would have put him there. It would not have pretended to place a student in a different house. What on earth made it agree to this plan?” she was practically spitting with rage.

“I-I offered to wash it,” I said sheepishly. She closed her eyes for a brief second, composing herself.

“Congratulations, Mr. Potter, I don’t believe a student has ever gotten themselves into this much trouble this early into the school year. Fifty points will be taken from Gryffindor.” she said, and my jaw dropped.

“Fifty! But Professor, that will put us in the negatives! It’s only the first day of school! C’mon, it was just a little prank! I didn’t hurt anybody. Please Professor!” I begged.

“Yes Potter, fifty points. Be thankful it isn’t more. Now, excuse me, I’m going to contact your mother.” she said walking over to the fireplace.

“You’re going to Floo her? I thought you just wrote letters when students get into trouble!” I gasped.

“That is what usually happens, but this case is most unusual.” she said, and bent over to fire-call my house. I felt sick. My mother was going to kill me.

“I’ll see you then,” I heard, and McGonagall pulled her head put of the flames. She looked at me. “You’re mother will be here in a moment.” Sure enough, a minute later my mum spun out of the fireplace into the office.

“Hello again, Minerva.” She said, walking over to take a seat next to me. She didn’t look at me.

“Ginny, I’m sure you are aware that this is a serious thing. We can’t have students manipulating school objects for their own childish wants.” McGonagall said, and mum nodded. I felt offended. It wasn’t childish, it was just a bit of fun! I didn’t speak up though, the tension in the room was tangible, and I knew a comment like that would just make it worse. Just then, Al walked in.

“Professor? Fred said you wanted to see-” his eyes fell on me, then mum. I sank down deeper in my chair. “-me.”

“Have a seat, Albus,” McGonagall said, conjuring up another chair. He walked toward it and sat down tentatively.

“Mum? What are you doing here?” he asked, looking scared.

“Why don’t you ask your brother that?” she said, finally looking at me. She met my eyes, and the anger in her eyes made me shiver.

“Al, I- I made a deal with the Sorting Hat. It agreed to pretend to put you in Slytherin, just to mess with you. It was supposed to clear it up after the next student, I swear!” I said it all in a rush, hoping he wouldn’t catch it. But he did.

“You what?” he screamed, leaping to his feet. I sank even lower in my chair.

“I’m sorry!” I cried. He looked at me disdainfully. Then his look brightened, and he looked at McGonagall.

“Wait, does this mean I’m not in Slytherin?” he asked.

“I suppose we’ll have to find that out,” she said, crossing the room to get the Sorting Hat. She placed it on his head.

“Slytherin!” It called out, this time almost instantaneously. Al’s shoulders slumped, and he sank down in the chair. I jumped up and grabbed the hat, placing in on my own head.

“What do you mean? He was supposed to be in Gryffindor! Why didn’t you ever say that? You kept him in Slytherin!” I cried, glaring up at the hat.

“I did not confess the prank because your brother truly belongs in Slytherin. Don’t be like that, Slytherin is a great house! Your brother is very ambitious, he will excel at anything he puts his mind to! He is cunning too, just wait and see.” Hatty said to me.

“Oh you! You don’t deserve the name Hatty!” I cried, throwing it off my head. Professor McGonagall, Mum, and Al all stared at me.

“Hatty?” Mum asked. It was silent for a few minutes before Al snorted.

“You- you named the Sorting Hat? Oh my God James, that’s insane!” he laughed. I blushed as mum laughed too. I even saw McGonagall trying to contain a smile.

“Well it’s annoying calling it ‘The Sorting Hat’ all the time!” I defended myself. The laughter died down after a while.

“Okay, okay. James, while I’m still really annoyed at you, it’s okay. I don’t really care that I’m a Slytherin, it isn’t the worst thing in the world,” Al said. “Mum, don’t punish him to badly, he was just being James. He’ll do worse, and you can punish him for that when he does. And we all know he will,” he grinned.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this Al?” Mum asked.

“Yeah, mum. I met some cool people in Slytherin, and they seem nice enough. I’m fine not being in Gryffindor. Really.” he told her. She nodded, hugged us both, reminded me I was still going to be punished, hugged us again, and left.

“Well, I suppose you both may go now. Actually, James, would you stay for a minute, I’d like to speak with you about something. Albus, you may go.” she said. Al nodded, and walked to the door. Just before he left he turned to me.

“Oh, and James? This doesn‘t mean you‘re forgiven. I‘m a Slytherin, and your revenge will come when your least expecting it.” he grinned, and walked out he door. I turned, slightly shaken, back to McGonagall who was suppressing a smile again.

“James, you’re not here for anything bad. At least, not right now. I just wanted to ask you to take on some responsibility this year. First of all, the pranking has to end, or at least get toed down, there was way too much last year, it was distracting to people. Would you please just tone it down a little?" she asked, seemingly exasperated. I shrugged, then nodded.

"Fine, I guess."

"Good. I just wanted to get that out there early on. You're a smart boy James. Just put that smartness to something other than mischief." she told me. I rolled my eyes when she looked down. "You may go now James. I truly hope to see less of you in this office this year." she dismissed me. I sighed, and left silently. Tone down the pranking? Like that was even possible.

~~~

I didn’t stay at lunch long. Just long enough to scarf down some food and check that McGonagall was there. Perfect. It had been a week since the whole Sorting fiasco. I snuck out of the Great Hall and over to the Headmistress’s office.

“Puddlemere United,” I whispered, afraid of getting caught. I sprinted into the office as soon as the stairs got high enough.

“Hello, Hatty,” I said, taking it down from the shelf. “I’m back. I’ll keep my promise. Time to get you washed.”


End file.
